RESET Day 1

Weight (I’m only posting this once a week): 190
Goal weight: 145
Pounds to go: 45

Hunger Meter (out of 10, 10 being really hungry): 7

Well, it is toward the end of my first day of the RESET. I admit I was so excited to start that I had a horrible sleep last night, but I was up and raring to go around 9 anyway. First thing, I went to the gym and did my 30 mins on the treadmill. I was planning to weigh myself this morning, to get the most accurate number, but the scale on our gym disappeared. So I made a trip to Target this afternoon to buy a scale so my starting weight is about as accurate as you’re gonna get!

(Let me tell you two things I believe are fundamental about scales. First, they are not an indicator of how healthy you are and second, they lie. No, really. I’ve never “looked” as heavy as the scale says I am. I’ve always had a lot of muscle mass, so that may be why. I have not had a scale in my possession in more than 10 years. And, except for once or twice a year at the doctor’s office, I make it a rule to never weigh myself. I generally gauge my weight by how my clothes fit. I think this is a far better indicator of how I’m doing. But, in the interest of trying a new weight-loss strategy, I will count my success by the numbers on the scale.)

The day has been ok. I kept myself busy most of the morning/afternoon doing some writing. This was great because mentally, my mind was busy and physically, I wasn’t moving around too much and making myself hungrier. I have felt lightheaded and slightly nauseous, but I think that’s partly due to my lack of good sleep. I did have one moment this afternoon where I felt awful and had to lie down. But 30 minutes later, I felt much better.

I ran errands this afternoon, and was proud of myself for limiting my food purchases to veggies. See, I had to walk through the candy aisle looking for items for a wedding shower at the end of the month. I was not tempted to buy ANYTHING for me! Huzzah! Of course, I just walked by our pantry and thought, “hmm what will I have for dinner?” Duh, a protein shake but getting out of the habit of eating whatever I want promises to be very challenging.

Tonight, I plan on relaxing by watching football and movies. I would say that Day 1 has been a success. Let’s hope Day 2 will go just as smoothly.

Burgers, French Fries and Thai… Oh My!

For the time being, I am turning this blog into a diet journal to chronicle my journey from flab to fab. No, really. I have decided to get serious about losing weight this year. Last year I focused on finances, this year it’s my gut.

Those of you who know me well know that I am a loyal gym member. I work out 4-5 days a week and try to maintain an active lifestyle. Those same people also know that I love food. All food, as much as I can get. I wouldn’t say I have a problem; I just don’t really pay attention to what I eat. Any time I decide to lose weight, I am successful momentarily but after I stop paying attention to what I eat, I start adding back in the food I shouldn’t be eating.

Weight loss has been a life-long struggle for me, and I am determined to be successful this year. Yes, I am joining the millions of other Americans who have decided to lose weight but the difference is that I am going to do it! And all 2 people who read this blog are going to keep me accountable.

But I am not doing this on my own. I clearly have no self-control when it comes to food, so I am employing help and doing something I’ve never done before. I’m following an eating plan. Now, this may not be drastic to you but I’m in new territory here so be kind. The plan I’m following is the USANA RESET plan. It’s pretty neat. The first 5 days is a cleanse, basically to reset your body, and then you slowly build back in a low-glycemic diet. My hope is that the cleanse will also kill my cravings, and that I’ll reset my body to crave the good stuff, not the bad stuff (and I don’t mean the “good stuff,” my friend Betsy’s yummy peanut butter, chocolate, marshmallow and peanuts concoction). I dream of the day when I can walk past a plate of cookies and not want one. I hope that some day, the smell of McDonald’s french fries won’t drive me wild. I long for a time when the sultry sound of bacon sizzling won’t set my heart a flutter.

Tomorrow I begin my journey. I will keep you posted of my success as I lose the weight so wish me luck!

New Year, New Beginnings

Well, uh, sorry for the LONG hiatus! I stopped blogging before I even got started! haha. I guess life got really busy. I was reminiscing with my sister about 2009, and we agreed that a lot of stuff happened, but mostly it didn't. This was an entirely boring year. Since my last post, I went camping with Darren in the beautiful mountains of Alberta, got some really big projects are work rolling (yay resume builders!), attended two wonderful weddings of very wonderful people (congrats Jenny and Ed, and Ken and Naomi!), successfully completed Financial Peace University (I'm starting 2010 DEBT FREE!), and got involved and invigorated about my church. 2009 wrapped up with a two-week Christmas vacation (thanks blizzard of '09) that included our last holiday season in North Carolina and a turning point in my LDR (more on that later).

(Falls we hiked to this summer)

I know that the title of this post is somewhat contrived, but 2010 really is about to blow our socks off. My parents are moving to Houston in February, which means I'll be doing a lot of traveling to and from Raleigh to help pack and calm my mother down. Since my wonderful friend Sarah is also getting married in March, her various pre-wedding events will provide me with an excuse to leave the house sometimes. As for Chris-Anne, I don't think she'll stick around Raleigh very long after that. Her boyfriend is in med school in Norfolk, so I expect her to move soon.

Since I am starting 2010 DEBT FREE, I am looking forward to having some extra cash to travel. My sister, cousins and I are planning a girls trip sometime in May/June. After my association's big Covention at the end of June, I have the rest of the summer to chill and plan my next adventure: moving to Canada! That's right, I'm ready to announce it. It's officially on. Darren's most recent visit really proved to me that we should be together and I don't want to wait anymore. So I'm not. Come July/August, I'll be living in the great white north again. And yes, you all have to come visit!

I'm not big on resolutions, mostly because if I really want to do something I'll just do it. But I am hopeful that 2010 will result in positive changes and excitement for me and my family. I also pray the same for you and yours.

Just My Imagination (Running Away with Me)

So, I have to say, I have some off-the-wall dreams! I mean, very vivid, imaginative, real dreams. Take last night for instance. I had a dream that my world was full of Simpson characters. Marge, Homer, Lisa and Bart were there, but the rest of the people were family and friends, but in Simpson character form. It was like I was actually living in a cartoon world! Weird. AND we were in the 1800s around the manifest-destiny era, when the white man overtook the Natives land and forced them into reservations. But it wasn't politically charged, it was just life during that era. It appeared we were all living in Montana and I was the school teacher. In any case, a very weird dream.

But my imagination never ceases to amaze me. Maybe I'm just overly creative and emotional, but I always have vivid dreams just as I am waking up, and a lot of times I'll wake up mad, angry or sad because the dream seemed so real! For instance, I had a dream earlier this week that my Dad died and at the funeral, everyone had a significant other to comfort them besides me. And I remember waking up crying because my Dad was dead and because D wasn't there (he did NOT have a good reason for not appearing in my dream). That kind of thing happens more often than not, and I am usually emotionally shaken by the events. I was upset with D that whole day because of what he did (or in this case didn't) do in my dream! It's like that Ben Folds song, Trusted: "The sun's coming up she's pulled all the blankets over/Curled in a ball like she's hiding from me and/That's when I know she's gonna be pissed when she wakes up/For terrible things I did to her in her dreams."

Most of all, I wish I could capture some of these dreams on paper, because they would make some great stories. Alas, by the time I wake myself up, the details have become hazy and I can't remember why it was such an amazing story, just that it was. Maybe as my second career I can tap into my creative genius and publish some of these stories. In high school, I used to do a lot of creative writing and story-telling. Maybe this is my creative genius telling me that it's time to start again!

And So It Goes

It's been another one of those weeks, a hard one where I've been struggling to come to resolution. I've been tooling around with the idea of moving back to Canada to be with D. And it's been hard, since I love my job and my friends and I don't really want to be that far away from my parents and sister. The crazy thing is that I really want to be in control of the situation and the more I try to control it, the more out of control it gets.

I have to give props to my friend Andy, who gave me some great advice in church today. He said that sometimes God just wants us to grow up and make our own decisions. And I think that's true. I moved to DC on a whim, knowing God wanted me here but not sure for what purpose. After four years of searching and developing a strong relationship, maybe this is it. My big-girl test where I strike out on my own. What is the most important thing? Stay where I'm comfortable, where I know what will happen. Or do I move where the career and future is uncertain, but the person I'd be moving for is everything I ever dreamed for. I am probably making a bigger deal of this than I should. Sometimes my head just gets in the way and I wish it would just SHUT UP already!

Excited About Work?

Well, it has been a crazy couple of weeks. But exhilarating, because I am doing exactly what I want to be doing. Last week was press week, meaning I had to edit and finish writing all the content for the next issue of my magazine, Volta Voices. The week was full of long hours and scrambling, because our cover story pulled out at the last minute. Besides the rage about that, the scramble proved to be a lot of fun. I've never really been interested in quick, last-minute deadlines, but every so often the pressure of a looming deadline really appeals to me. I would have never chose to be writing a new cover story three days before the press deadline. But at the end of the week, I was glad the opportunity presented itself. It proved that I absolutely love the editorial life. Editing, writing, working with other writers, coming up with design concepts, all really fun. I'm so grateful that I have found my career calling and am able to be successful.

I worry, though, because I am planning a move to an area where this kind of work is under appreciated. In addition, a new country means new vernacular that I'm not used to. How can I maintain this level of success when I feel I am starting from square one? One of the things I think I can do to help prepare is brush up on my corporate communication skills. Press releases, policy writing, etc. I hate that stuff. But it's something I'm going to have to force myself to do to help prepare. I'm not sure why I'm so worried, but I hate being blindsided by things I can't control and, even worse, things I COULD control and didn't see coming.

So, to force self-improvement upon myself, I am heading back to the job boards. I am looking for work, part-time freelance stuff, that can supplement my portfolio and help me improve my writing skills. Hopefully, the transition when I leave my current job will be quick and painless.

I Think I Have a Problem

I think I have a problem... I might be a stalker. Ok, "might" is the wrong word. I AM a stalker! And chances are, you've been my victim more than once. It's just so easy! I log on to Facebook/MySpace/LinkedIn/Twitter and with two or three clicks, I can see pictures of you and your friends' friends' friends, what your doing and what you have been doing and check to see what you will be doing later. I do this at all hours of the day and night... You know this sounds creepy, but you can't help but agree that YOU DO IT TOO!

It's actually funny if you think about it. Rather then engage in meaningful conversation over the phone or in person over drinks or dinner, most of us would rather log on to a social networking site to get our friend-fill for the day. Or find out the goods about an occasional acquaintance to share with your friends who know him/her. I am not lecturing, I am guilty as sin. But it's still a little funny to see how social networking can take over our lives. It's a paradigm shift, we talk about it all the time. Right now, I am in charge of my company's Facebook and Twitter sites. I spend close to half a day doing this...which may not be a good thing to write if my boss sees this. But it's a vicious cycle. Even if I log on to post something quick, I am sucked into checking out the group's contacts and links, then I think I need to check my personal accounts and it keeps on going.

Am I alone in this? Please tell me no. I understand that the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, but who wants to stop when it feels so good? ;)