It's been another one of those weeks, a hard one where I've been struggling to come to resolution. I've been tooling around with the idea of moving back to Canada to be with D. And it's been hard, since I love my job and my friends and I don't really want to be that far away from my parents and sister. The crazy thing is that I really want to be in control of the situation and the more I try to control it, the more out of control it gets.
I have to give props to my friend Andy, who gave me some great advice in church today. He said that sometimes God just wants us to grow up and make our own decisions. And I think that's true. I moved to DC on a whim, knowing God wanted me here but not sure for what purpose. After four years of searching and developing a strong relationship, maybe this is it. My big-girl test where I strike out on my own. What is the most important thing? Stay where I'm comfortable, where I know what will happen. Or do I move where the career and future is uncertain, but the person I'd be moving for is everything I ever dreamed for. I am probably making a bigger deal of this than I should. Sometimes my head just gets in the way and I wish it would just SHUT UP already!
aww!
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