Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Unwarping Oneself

I have been warped. It's true, being in a city like Washington, D.C., has the effect of hardening oneself to the people and situations around you. Being in Canada, I've noticed that my once positive, rosy outlook on life has been replaced with an impatient, selfish attitude. This is especially noticeable this time of year when people around me really do need a giving heart and a shoulder to lean on. For example, a very dear friend of mine lost her mother earlier this year. And the last week has been very hard for her as she tries to get into the Christmas spirit. The other day, when she called and was just talking out her feelings, I felt annoyed. Doesn't she know I am working? Doesn't she understand I have other things to do? But then I checked myself; does it really matter if I take an hour out of my day to listen to her, which is all she really wanted? I felt like a first-class jerk for even thinking those thoughts (I did stay on the phone with her, btw).

One of the things I've always loved about D is that his heart is very giving. If a friend needs a hand, he runs out and helps without expecting compensation. So many of us would expect some kind of remuneration for taking time out of our busy lives to help a friend. But shouldn't that be the reward...the knowledge that you helped someone out? I have always admired this about D and despised it in myself. I see that by living in a city like DC, where everyone is worried about "me, me, me," I have lost sight of selfless giving and been hardened to the simple idea of lending a helping hand. So, I am resolved to change that in me and worry less about time and inconvenience in favor of showing love towards others. After all, isn't that the spirit of the season?

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